Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity By Andrew Solomon

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Rating: 9 (7921 reviews)
Author: Andrew Solomon

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Winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award, a Books for a Better Life Award, and one of The New York Times Book Review’s Ten Best Books of 2012, this masterpiece by the National Book Award–winning author of The Noonday Demon features stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children, but also find profound meaning in doing so—“a brave, beautiful book that will expand your humanity” (People).Solomon’s startling proposition in Far from the Tree is that being exceptional is at the core of the human condition—that difference is what unites us. He writes about families coping with deafness, dwarfism, Down syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, or multiple severe disabilities; with children who are prodigies, who are conceived in rape, who become criminals, who are transgender. While each of these characteristics is potentially isolating, the experience of difference within families is universal, and Solomon documents triumphs of love over prejudice in every chapter. All parenting turns on a crucial question: to what extent should parents accept their children for who they are, and to what extent they should help them become their best selves. Drawing on ten years of research and interviews with more than three hundred families, Solomon mines the eloquence of ordinary people facing extreme challenges. Elegantly reported by a spectacularly original and compassionate thinker, Far from the Tree explores how people who love each other must struggle to accept each other—a theme in every family’s life.

At this time of writing, The Ebook Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity has garnered 9 customer reviews with rating of 5 out of 5 stars. Not a bad score at all as if you round it off, it’s actually a perfect TEN already. From the looks of that rating, we can say the Ebook is Good TO READ!

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As the hearing girlfriend of a profoundly deaf person, I’ve been recommended this book by several people. I just finished the chapter on Deafness (the second chapter of the book) and ... wow. The conclusion he comes to is breathtakingly simplistic and frankly asinine in its language choices and false equivalencies.“You can admire Deaf culture and still choose not to consign your children to it. The loss of diversity is terrible, but diversity for the sake of diversity is a lie. A Deaf culture kept pure when hearing is available to all would be equivalent to those historical towns where everyone lives as though it were the eighteenth century.”.......... First of all, parents often make choices based on what’s best for them not their children. As he concedes earlier, a choice to implant a toddler is often for the parents’ benefit so they don’t need to learn sign language. In one lazy swoop, he devalues Deaf culture and the lives of deaf people. Why bother with all that when you can just genetically and/or surgically modify deaf fetuses and children?People with hearing loss don’t choose to be part of Deaf culture for the sake of diversity. They choose to be part of it because of the innate human desire to celebrate and engage with their identity — this is literally the premise of his book. How is this “a lie”? I don’t follow this sentence.Lastly, it’s utterly irresponsible and offensive to compare upholding Deaf culture to living in fake historical communities. Much less call it equivalent! Deaf people use adaptive technology to enable them to live in a world functionally built for hearing people. They certainly aren’t hiding in backward-looking colonies trying to recapture life in a simpler time. A person (a parent, a child) has every right to forgo an invasive surgery or in vitro modifications (which he seems to believe is the way we will and should eradicate deafness). Oral culture isn’t necessarily the future. Hearing isn’t destiny. He could just as easily (more easily!!!) reached the conclusion that a hearing world kept inaccessible when accommodations can be made available to all is the equivalent to those historical towns where everyone lives as though it were the eighteenth century. That would have been a far more apt comparison.Regardless of all the awards this book apparently got, I don’t know if I want to read the rest. I’m really not inclined to read 600+ more pages of Andrew Solomon’s thoughts on marginalized identities now that he has made his agenda and bias so clear. And while I understand that he, perhaps for framing or ego purposes, he decided to superimpose his own narrative as a gay man onto his “study” of these other horizontal identities, his choice to also impose his opinion and judgment on these other identities is distasteful to say the least.

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